What do you believe about wanting?
Do you think it’s needy or weak? Is achieving them something that should be easy, or do you have to work for it? How are you affected by the way others respond to your needs and wants?
It’s interesting isn’t it! When do we ever stop to think about our experiences with wanting? Yet stopping and answering these types of questions can tell us so much in regards to how we go about getting our wants and needs met, and how we feel about ourselves along the way.
Behind every want is a healthy need, and behind every action we take to meet these is a positive intention. HOWEVER, sometimes we can go about this in ways that don’t serve us, based on the beliefs we hold around the wanting.
We learn about wanting from a young age, as we rely so heavily on getting our needs and wants met by others. We quickly pick up on which wants are acceptable, which ones are ok to pursue, which ones are supposed to be shunned, and those that are forbidden.
- If your wants growing up were supported by those around you it felt great, you felt accepted / loved / validated / successful.
- On the other hand if your wants were ignored, looked down upon, or completely dismissed as unacceptable you felt quote the opposite – embarrassed / belittled / silly / misunderstood / naughty / un-loved.
The residue of these experiences imprint themselves in your brain as a rule book, and colour how you think, feel, and behave towards your wants moving forward.
We can’t deny the fact we want things, it’s a natural human desire, BUT we can take the time to develop a better and more useful way of getting them met.
By taking the time to explore your experiences with wanting you get to choose how you want to feel about them and the role they play in your life. Below tis articles are 3 key prompts for you to journal on. Please be gentle on yourself when going through these, as they can bring up parts of yourself you’ve tried to hide or avoid over the years. Hold compassion for yourself and others, knowing that everyone has done the best that they can with what they had at the time.
By sitting with your past it not only helps you understand yourself and your needs better today, but it will support you in knowing how to effectively take care of these in the future.
With all my love,