A couple of years ago I was running a community workshop with over 100 people across different ages, ethnicities, gender, and religious and cultural backgrounds. During this workshop there was an older gentleman who sat with his arms crossed and complained about every single activity I ran. No matter what I did he didn’t seem to like me. It was like honey to a bee – I became obsessed, and gave my time and energy trying to get him on board.
At lunch my boss called me over and told me to stop wasting my time on the one person in the room who wasn’t enjoying the experience, and shift my focus to those in the room who were. Although blunt, it was true.
It was then, that I discovered the 80/20 rule.
It goes like this….
In life 80% of people you encounter will like you, and then there’s the 20% who won’t for many reasons, most of them outside of your control, from differing values, different beliefs, to simply feeling triggered by you due to their own life experiences. And you know what…this is 100% ok.
In a world of 7.9 billion people, it’s unrealistic to go through life thinking everyone is going to like you, and frankly it’s exhausting – you’ll end up trying to be everything to everyone and disregard your own needs and sense of self along the way. Rather direct your energy, time, and work to the 80% who get you, who want to see you succeed, who want to bring out the best in you, and who align with your values. These are your people.
So over to you, where in life are you wasting time on the 20%?