Growing up we weren’t taught much about boundaries, in fact, most of us were made to feel that to be the perfect student, partner, parent, child, friend, employee etc… we had to put others needs above our own, and that prioritising ourselves was indulgent.
Due to these lack of boundaries, we try to be everything to everyone, and we stretch ourselves too thin. We become exhausted, rundown, and eventually resentful.
So, let’s get the story straight…boundaries are a must have if we want to live a healthy, happy, and engaged life. Boundaries aren’t selfish or indulgent, they are an act of respect for yourself and others. When you have the courage to stand by your own boundaries you communicate that you value your own worth and wellbeing, and can commit to showing up 100% for yourself and others. Contrary to what we think, when we live by our boundaries everything in life benefits – we have a deeper connection and understanding of ourselves and we give more fully to our relationships and work.
How do we create boundaries?
Creating boundaries starts with giving yourself the permission to tune in and listen to your inner needs and desires, and asking what needs to happen for you to honour these? At times this may feel uncomfortable such as recognising when to keep pushing and when you need to stop, saying no to a great opportunity when it’s not the right fit, reaching out and asking for support, or saying what you feel instead of what someone wants to hear.
Some questions you can reflect on, to start exploring your boundaries are:
- Where am I feeling guilty, or holding on to resentment in my life? What could these be attached to, and how might setting boundaries help me let go?
- Where in my life am I prioritising others needs and happiness at the expense of my own? What needs to happen here to value and prioritise my needs and wellbeing?
- What’s one thing I can commit to starting this week?
Honouring boundaries can be tough, yet staying true to them doesn’t make you any less loving, responsible, understanding, or reliable – it’s what’s needed for you to genuinely be all of these things and show up as the best version of yourself. Which everyone deserves to experience.
(ps: If you enjoyed reading this and want to learn more about boundaries check out https://sarahtrass.com/Blog/how-to-stop-saying-yes-when-you-really-mean-no )